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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2015 20:03:07 GMT
Lister: "What does it feel like?"
Rimmer: "Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans."
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Post by Mrspresh on Apr 13, 2015 18:59:56 GMT
Lister: Six breasts? Imagine making love to a woman with six breasts! Rimmer: Imagine making love to a woman!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2015 21:20:22 GMT
Kryton: " "Pub." Ah yes: a meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks."
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Post by Mrspresh on Apr 14, 2015 20:10:00 GMT
Rimmer: As we are all aware, we have lost Red Dwarf. This is not the time for small-minded, petty recrimination. The time for that is when we get back to Earth and Lister is court-martialled. Lister: I didn't *lose* it. Rimmer: Come on, Lister. You're the one who parked it. You're the one who can't remember which planetoid you left it around. Lister: They're all the same, those blue and green planetoids. Blue, green and planetoidy!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2015 21:09:56 GMT
Holly: "I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000; the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers."
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Post by Mrspresh on Apr 15, 2015 18:15:49 GMT
Lister: I'm an animal. I'm a tasteless, uncouth, mindless, tone-deaf, randy, blokish, semi-literate space bum! Kryten: Ahh... welcome back Mr. Lister sir!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2015 21:29:41 GMT
Rinmer: "Was there any damage?" Holly: "I don't know. The damage report machine has been damaged."
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Post by Mrspresh on Apr 16, 2015 10:35:05 GMT
The Cat: What I don't understand is why he went to the trouble of using his kidney as a full-stop.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2015 13:19:17 GMT
Cat: "I'm so hungry. I just have to eat!" Lister: "Shh... Rimmer's dad's died." Cat: "I'd prefer chicken."
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Post by Mrspresh on Apr 16, 2015 20:08:10 GMT
The Cat: What is this place? Lister: This is the hologram simulation suite. This is the room that creates Rimmer. The Cat: Have we come to blow this room up?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2015 21:29:48 GMT
The Inquisitor: "Your wilful negligence in failing to re-seal a drive plate, resulted in the deaths of the entire crew of the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel, Red Dwarf." Rimmer: "...Oh that!"
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Post by Mrspresh on Apr 17, 2015 18:45:18 GMT
Queeg: He gets all his answers on astronomy, phenomenology and physics from a single reference book. Rimmer: What's the book? Queeg: The Junior Encyclopedia of Space. It's the only one he can find which has pictures.
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